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I have always been so afraid of what will people think about my voice. Fear is good when it pumps up your adrenaline. But in my case it’s creating an atmosphere of what ifs. 

But honestly as soon as I posted this I wanted to curl up on my bed and ignore the rest of the world. But then I remembered I still have plates to do.

*Pam, pull yourself together* 

There has to be a time when we will no longer let fear take over faith.
Well, for me, the clock is on point now. So thankful for the grace that empowered me to post this. 
How about you? When will you scratch the fear off? :)


Please tell me what do you think about this sound!

(Source: relishthyart / Pamela Sophia)

To my main man,

First of all I would like to congratulate you and your film “Starting Over Again.”  I heard it’s on cinemas for 3 weeks now. Sorry that I still haven’t watched it tho. Heheeeee. <3

Sorry kuya and I were late for our family date yesterday. We didn’t really get lost. We bought a gift for you. It took so long because we had a tough time thinking about what to give you. It seems like you have it all. Not that you have all the gadgets, shirts, and other stuff, but it’s just that we think that you don’t need anything else to be happier. Samin pa lang nila mama jackpot na jackpot ka na. Hihiiiii :3 

Seriouslyy, everytime I think about how to describe you as my papa, I get so overwhelmed by all  the big adjectives that pop in my head: passionate, disciplined, funny, full of wisdom, a dedicated runner, a brilliant writer,  an excellent communicator. I can go on forever and all the pretty words would still seem fit. :) 

I am so blessed with your leadership and your heart for serving. I really learned a lot from you. I am so privileged to call you my papa. <3

I know that you are a bit more afraid now that I turned 18. Hehe. But no matter how older or taller (hopefully) I will get, I will still enjoy sitting on your lap and occasionally hitting you on your belly. Heheee.

Love you papa! :)

Photo:  Seb Delos Reyes

 

If you get this in your ask box you must say 5 good things about yourself then pass it on to 10 of your favourite followers. - admiraldurano

1. Passionate about art.
2. If I set my heart and mind on something, no matter how hard or long it would take, I will make it happen.
3. Always eager to know more.
4. Keeping the relationship > winning any argument
5. Now ready for drastic changes


:)

Your value does not increase or decrease depending on how the world sees you. 
Your light is not shunned by any imperfection that tricks you to devalue yourself.
Know that you are beautiful even without makeup or a man wrapped around your arms. Lady, know your worth. <3



What Women Don’t Know (and Men Don’t Tell You) by Michelle McKinney Hammond and Joel Brooks
Photo: Primrose 
 :)

Out of all the people under the milky way, why me?

(Source: relishthyart)

You stood before my failure
Carried the Cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon Your shoulders
My soul now to stand

So what can I say?
What can I do?
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You


So I’ll stand, my soul Lord to You surrendered


All I am is Yours 
 

 

(Hillsong United - The Stand)  

image




INFP ako eh. Dati INFJ," batting my lashes as if saying something that everyone knows already.

My friend was talking about how the results he received from the famous Jung Personality Test varied every year. I decided to interrupt his animated story telling by sharing my results. Ofcourse, knowing me, in a less animated way.

I hope this INFP stuff will be informatively fun but it’s not what I’m really trying to bring to light. Just giving you a bit of a back story. And btw, I don’t use psychological test results as major defining factors of who I am.

Let me continue. :)
INFJ, my intial result, stands for Introvert INtuitive Feeling Judging. INFJs  basically "have a unique combination of idealism and decisiveness." They can manage to successfully express how they feel despite being private people. They are very sensitive and long for reciprocation. On the other hand, with a bit of variation, INFP, my recent result, stands for Introvert INtuitive Feeling Perseptive. INFPs "are usually perceived as calm, reserved or even shy" but "their inner flame and passion is not something to be taken lightly.”

My friend kept his gaze at me, as if waiting for me to continue.

"AY, ano nga ulit yung F at…", thinking about the opposite of "F",

"Yung ‘F’ at ‘T’? Yung ‘F’ ay ‘feeling’. Yung ‘T’ ay ‘thinking’", he interrupted, finishing my sentence.

"AHHH. AY. ‘T’ pala ako. "Thinking". Wala akong feelings eh. Hahaha." I was kidding. But then, most jokes aren’t pure in its sense.

"Alam ko. Halata naman eh. Hahahaha", he replied while wearing a supposedly insulting smile.


To be honest, I wasn’t insulted at all. I knew behind his accusing smile is  a longing for me to know that I am not exactly the most emotional girl in the whole universe and that something has to be done about it. And I knew he meant well. .

I took the test again just now. It says I am an INTJ. It stands for Introvert INtuitive Thinking Judging. INTJs "radiate self-confidence, relying on their huge archive of knowledge spanning many different topics and areas." They know what they know, and more importantly, they know what they don’t know. However, they struggle to find delight in chit-chats because they immediately long for a deeper connection -something that would make sense. But the thing is they are so rational to the point of having difficulty building relationships, which are basically built through love -something that cannot be deduced via an equation.

So let me get you closer to what I’m driving at.

Let me say this again. I am not exactly the most emotional girl in the whole universe.
I don’t scream out of excitement or joy. I don’t blurt out “I love you” as if buying a candy from a store. I don’t wave complements. I don’t mail love letters. I want to reserve extreme reactions and cheesy actions for moments of one or two. I want to make sure that every word that comes out from my mouth comes from the bottom of my heart, not something that spills out of too much fleeting emotions. So if I tell you I love you, I really mean I love you. When I tell you I’m happy, inside I am leaping out of joy. And when I am sad? Oh, you can bet that I really I am.

So for the past five days, I am experiencing the kind of sadness that does not resemble anger or fear. It is not the kind that seeks revenge or longs for a sweet cuddle. It is a sadness that is as is. Have you ever felt this? The kind that no fragrant words or pack of gifts will mend?
The kind that begs time to pass so that it may heal?

I’m guessing you’re thinking what happened. What made me feel something extreme?
Let’s just say that I cared. I hoped. I got excited. Remember how unusual for those feelings to come by all at the same time? But apparently, they weren’t feeling the same. Atleast not in the same intensity as I did. And they think it was their absence that helped me ache. For one, it did. But the enthusiasm that was not present in their eyes was what made a clear cut.

I am not posting this to gain empathy. You know I am too INTJ for that. Hehehe. I am revealing this to remind everyone, even myself, to not think that once a straight face, always a straight face.
She wasn’t hurt when you did that so you think nothing will get in her? Is she so strong in your eyes that you forget the reason she is strong is because she celebrates her weaknesses?

Nah guys and gals.


So be careful. Just like anyone, she has feelings. They may not be floating like others’. But they exist.

(Source: relishthyart)

It was a ballroom.
Reoccurring.
Snaps that roar like thunder.
Yet she was always out of beat.


Same face.

Different stories.

#WAMH

Photography: Boc Caballero, Seb Delos Reyes, and Rem Duque
Unprocessed. 
HMU and Styling: yours truly 

(Source: relishthyart)

She found solstice in enigma.
She tried but in one word she couldn’t fit in.


She saw the grace in being different.


And she embraced it.


Photography: Boc CaballeroSeb Delos Reyes
HMU and Styling: yours truly
Unprocessed.



Doll house. Tea cups. Fake money. Piko. Patintero. Battle Realms.

It feels like it was only yesterday when I first enjoyed my favorite toys and games;
when I finished my first coloring book;
when I first ached from a bleeding knee for playing ‘taya-tayaan’ too seriously;
when I heard my first ‘sermon’ for destroying our microwave;
when I learned how to make friends and make friends cry;
when I first nervously raised my hand to recite in class;
when I joined my first story-telling contest;
when I graduated from grade school… then high school.

Two weeks from now, I’ll turn 18. Another season.

I have so many stories to tell. But none of these stories will sound so enticing if you didn’t take the journey with me. :)

Photography: Seb Delos Reyes
HMUA & Styling: yours truly :)
Unprocessed.

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